I live with a tiny drunk person. My 2 year old daughter! It seems the memes I’ve seen on Facebook comparing toddlers to drunk people couldn’t be more spot on! Mothers real think about it. Compare your little toddler in their day to day life with a person thats had a bit too much too drink. It is quite funny when you think about it.Ive created a little list of the comparisons in which toddlers are just like tiny drunk people, hopefully it will give you a few laughs.
Like when dealing with drunk friends or randoms, my daughter has a tendency to talk utter gibberish with me only able to understand only a few words out of the conversation. With both just pretend you understand or catch the list of what they are saying.
falls over A LOT
Toddlers and drunks are the worst with falling over, whether they trip over something or absolutely nothing. They are clumsy as fuck.
Most of us are guilty of doing this when we have had a few, not me. I’m the person that runs off with the streakers clothes and hides them……then forgets where I hid them. Without fail I deal with a streaker daily. When it comes to changing a nappy or dressing my toddler she is off when I drop my guard even for a slit second. She’s off! I find myself chasing a little white ass around the house.
There is always that one guy or girl that doesn’t care where they are, whether it being in the middle of a dance floor, middle of the street or standing in line at McDonalds they randomly bust a move. Toddlers are no different! The world is their dance floor. My daughter is guilty of this regularly and also likes to pole dance when we are waiting in lines.
short attention span
Drunks: “lets make some mac and cheese” started making mac and cheese then their jam comes on and they bust a move while the mac and cheese burns on the stove
Toddler: follow the trail of toys around the house, played with lego for two seconds followed by, dolls , painting, cars and so on.
falls asleep in the strangest positions
Seeing toddlers fall asleep in the strangest positions takes me back to coming across people drunk and sleep sometimes looking like they were possessed. I time in particular that reminds me of this was a few years ago my husband was throwing a few drinks back while watching the Super Bowl on TV (mind I remind you this was a Monday in Australia), actually it was a lot. He was wasted! He decided to crawl out the house down the stairs and have a sleep, feet on the top step and head on the bottom. Our daughter Ive found in her cot at night laying on her back with her hands in the air as if she’s screaming “Praise Jesus”
Ohh the crazy things Ive seen in my partying days, I thought the strange shit was done. NOPE. Its just beginning.