GONE BOATING

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I don’t know what it is but the ocean freaks me out. I think it’s the fact that you can’t see what’s below you and the fact your sharing it with creatures that could kill you. But pretty much as as long as I can remember the ocean has not been my favourite place. So you could imagine my reaction to a family holiday on a cruise for 9 days. 9 days on a ship! Not my dream holiday.

But like a champ I took on this challenge, was grateful for the trip and prepared myself for it. But like when you are pregnant you get a heap of unsolicited advice and negative statements or comments about going on a cruise. So I decided to test all these little comments a see if people are right or just being down right negative……

I was told the first few days I’d be sea sick because I wasn’t used to the rocking around. Well thank god for modern medicine because I had no sickness at all. Sure the first few days it took a bit of getting used to the rocking but it was nothing I couldn’t handle. Over all with the whole sea sickness thing it really depends on the person and whether your traveling through rough conditions. It’s just like flying.

“You’ll gain a heap of weight on a cruise because all you do is eat” that’s one I heard a lot of. Sure there’s a buffet always open with kids of delicious food but why would I want to just hang out at the buffet when there’s loads of activities on board. The many swimming pools for example. Sure you gain a little weight on any holiday because you are out of routine and want to indulge a bit but my weight gain I had planned from all of the awesome cocktails.

Now when we got to the ports I was worried I would stack it the minute I stepped foot on land. Everyone else I knew that had been on a cruise at some point of their life kept saying my legs would be like jelly the second I hit land and may take a little while to adjust, so that was playing in the back of my mind the whole time. Well when we got to land, I don’t know if it’s the fact I have freakishly strong legs from contstant exercise or from the many years doing a drunken strut. I was fine. Absolutely no issues at all walking. Fucking drama queens.

Just old people go on cruises. Well there is a fair few oldies in the boat, more than a few. But their was a lot of families and a great deal of young people ready to party, sure they looked like the pale individuals you see at comic con cradling a Star Wars collectable. But hey being a pale weirdo I blended in.

This one I heard from few sleazy people, that sex on a boat it great because the rocking of the ocean does most of the work. Well this I knew was a load of bullshit! First of a the boat would have to be rocking hard and second, if you can get past the actual sick feeling of rocking around, you must want to be taking your live in your hands if you want to be rocked around like that while in a compromising position. Honestly its no different from normal sex, my guess is some idiot made it up to see how many people would actually believe it.

And finally, everyone kept raving on how expensive a cruise is. Pretty much any holiday can be expensive if you make it. If your not overly fussed on what type of room you get, not go nuts at the on board stores and stick to your meals allocated to you (usually included in your cruise price) you should be fine. This holiday wasn’t really expensive Ive been on holidays where I have spent thousands. A holiday is only expensive if you let it.

Overall the trip wasn’t as bad as I had originally thought and obviously I made it back to land, and didn’t end up on a floating door. If you want to give a cruise a go, go for it. Make it apart of your bucket list. Although. I do suggest you stick to a 9 or 10 day trip to start off with. Personally by day 8 I was scratching at the walls and ready to come home.

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