SHE GAVE IT A TRY

When my daughter was old enough to enjoy kids movies I tried her out on a few of the classic Disney movies that I grew up with and absolutely loved. Not seeing these movies in well over a decade and I most likely didn’t quite understand them properly as a kid, I found a few things in the movie that kind of ruined them for me.

No I’m not talking about the actual stories that these are based on, though the actual stories are pretty horrifying (seriously look up what the stories the Disney movies are based on, they are horrifying!). This is just a few of the movies I watched that ruined the story for me now that I’m an adult.

The Little Mermaid

Now this movie I liked to watch and pretend my Barbie doll was a mermaid with a home maid fishtail (made out of a handkerchief , didn’t have a proper mermaid doll) and when she became a human would make her human. I was happy when my daughter took a likening to the movie, Im assuming because she was obsessed with Dory she must have wanted to continue the underwater theme. I actually sat down and watched it last week with her and mind you I haven’t watched this movie in probably at least 15 years so I couldn’t really remember much of this movie. But watching this I had a few “ummm what” moments.

Firstly, does anyone take notice the fact that Ariel is 16!  She is claiming she isn’t a child anymore to her father, fucking hell girlie YOUR A KID! Her fathers happy that  she gets married at the end of the film to a guys she barely knows. Remember she’s 16 and she’s married. This brings me onto the second, she sees some random dude on a boat and is in love with him. Never spoken a word to him just seen him for a few minutes and decided to ditch being a mermaid to be with him. Big lifestyle change for a guy you’ve never spoken to.

Finally, Ariel goes to Ursula the sea witch in order to turn human. The sea witch that was banished for reasons not specified, but it must have been fucking bad. Seriously, this shows how much of a kid she is, stupidly going to the sea with to get what she wants. You’d think that going through the entrance of Ursula’s, err lair with all of the little wormy creatures moaning and trying to grab her would have put her off. NOPE. What about while Ursula was explaining you have to pay a price for her “favours” that  if you can’t pay you become one of the wormy things. NOPE still wanted to go through with the deal. Tell you what if I found that shit out and noticed a lot of people “couldn’t pay the price” Id have thought something dodgy was going on.

Overall the thing that kind of ruined this story for me was the fact that when I was younger this film seemed like a sweet love story. Now to me it seems like a story about a stalker 16 year old girl who became obsessed with a prince.

Beauty and The Beast

I’ll always have a fondness for all of the music in this movie, it makes me wish I could actually sing a note so I could sing along out loud. But unfortunately I can’t sing a single note and would rather not murder anyones ears with my horrible voice so I’ll leave it to all of the pros.

I find it absolutely strange that Belle, who was a prisoner to the Beast after taking her Fathers place. Falls in love with the monster that had held her prisoner. Stockholm Syndrome made it to a kids movie. Yet again its a story of a chick who falls in love with a guy she barely knows, in this case her captor. Not to mention she only knew this guy for a few days and she’s in love WHAT THE HELL!

After Belle finally returns to her father she just has to say “oh his changed” like its supposed to completely change her fathers mind that a beast who had held her prisoner is good enough to be with his daughter. NO. Tell ya what if that was my kid it would take a lot for me to change my mind after a first impression like that.

Overall if a guy had kept me as a prisoner, even if he changed and become a bit less of a dick I still wouldn’t fall for him. Why? he held me prisoner!!!

Snow White

This is going to be short and sweet. I’m sorry does anyone else find it weird that a Prince was cruising the forrest and kisses a seemingly dead chick? Need I say more.

I don’t want people to kick up a stink over my comments on these films these are just my personal opinions. Never the less despite my opinions on these movies I won’t deprive my daughter of these, she can enjoy these classics to her hearts content.

Now excuse me while I go an watch Cars, can’t go wrong with PIXAR…..I hope