I had to share this because I have been bombarded lately with people asking me when I’m having another kid. Literally the second people find out my daughter is two they ask “when’s the next one?”. Everyone has been asking and when I mean everyone , I mean EVERYONE! Seriously this is insane! Now this post I canny stress enough but this is my personal choices and my personal opinions so I don’t want people getting all mad at me an shit (parents have) but I don’t want a second child.
I have never been a person whose live was all about getting married and having kids. I have got married and had a beautiful little lady, and I wouldn’t change any of it what so ever. But, BUT I do not plan on having another child. Now when I say this to people they turn on me and start spewyout reasons why I’m selfish and how it will be better with more than one. So I want to share all of my replies to all of these peoples reasons, basically for anyone else who is in my situation…..
“THEY NEED A FRIEND TO GROW UP WITH”
This is a common one. First of all my kid is 2 1/2 she will be 3 when the baby is born and she will not be able to properly play with it when it’s around 12 months. By play I mean grab toys and both play. So by the time they can actually play together the eldest will want to be playing with toys the little one can’t really play with.
Second, my kid has friends that she sees and plays with regularly. These are all kids of friends that had their little ones around the same time as me so basically the kids are growing up together. To me it seems like they are implying my kid will be antisocial and will never make friends with any other children other than her sibling.
Also I grew up with a sister that’s less than a year apart and we fucking hate each other. She even tried to poison me as a kid. I swear she did.
“SHE WILL BE LONELY”
So it seems that if my child doesn’t have a sibling she will be very lonely. Like I mentioned my daughter is very social kid and she has no issue playing with kids and adults. The only time I would say she would be lonely if I constantly left her alone and she never had anyone to play with. But I always make time to play with her and she has play dates regularly and she goes to daycare once a week.
“CHILD THAT ARE ONLY CHILDREN ARE USUALLY BRATS”
I have heard this one from people when I questioned them why. Ok kids are brats not because they are only children, but because their parents have allowed that behaviour and enabled them to be that way. I have from the start said I don’t want a brat kid I can’t stand when parents are bosses around by a kid that’s a little asshole. Sure my kid can have her brat moments BUT I DONT LET HER GET AWAY WITH IT! Also I know many people who have kids with siblings that are total brats, I know someone who has 3 kids and two of them are little brats I can’t stand.
“DONT YOU WANT TO TRY FOR A LITTLE BOY??”
Because its just that easy. Seriously this is one the oldies throw at me, “have a boy and a girl and that will be good” OK because I can chose what sex I want my second child to be. I know for a fact that having a male child the second time around, would be very slim chances due to the fact that both my husband and I are from female dominated families. So the chances of a boy wold be fairly slim. I wouldn’t want to base my chance at having a second child being on what sex it would be, mostly because I wouldn’t want to be disappointed if i found out it didn’t end up being the sex I wanted.
“DONT YOU THINK YOU’RE BEING SELFISH? “
How is it being selfish by not bringing another child into this world?? Honestly I know people have been told this by doctors (Old school ones of course), because they said no to a second one. But apparently you are a selfish person if you don’t want to have a second baby, despite your reasons whether it being physical or financial or any other reason. You are a monster from depriving your kid a sibling.
Personally when people say this comment I think to myself “well are you going to pay for the next kid and help take care of the first? I think not”
I am curious to know if the pressure is still put onto mothers who may have had trouble conceiving in the first place or had a really traumatic birth for the first child.
Now I’ve said my piece about not wanting another kid, I bet you I’ll end up getting knocked up over the next few months (despite me being over cautious), hopefully not. But really its my decision on whether I want to have another child or not AND NO ONE ELSES! I find that there seems to be more pressure to have a second child than there was to have the first. I think that people need to stop forcing people to do things their way and sit back and let people live their lives.
Ok NOW my rant is over
I need a glass of wine Im a bit worked up now