SHE GAVE IT A TRY

ROAD TRIIIIIP!!! I hope everyone read that with a very high pitched voice in their head. After a fun filled 14 hour flight from Melbourne to LAX (shit I’m still delirious) we had finally arrived, YAY! No wait we still have the drive to Vegas (FUCK!).

Although we had a great flight and loads of extra seats so we could lay down, we still didn’t get sleep. Well we had probably 1/2 and hour, I don’t know why we just couldn’t sleep. So once we finally got through customs and security we headed towards the shuttle bus to take us to our car rental place. Once we got sorted and ready it came to going to get our car out of the parking lot……when I saw the car it made me want to ditch my car at home and upgrade. It was beautiful. We rented a Chrysler 300!! A car I would never thought I would ever ride in unless I found one sexy sugar daddy.

So we began the terrifying drive through LA, all I can say is thank fuck I wasn’t driving I would have most likely had a head on head collision from accidentally going on the wrong side of the road. Driving on the opposite side of the road is confusing. The LA chunk of our drive wasn’t too bad, we had the GPS to guide us. Until we got to our exit to head on to the highway to Vegas and it was closed! It seemed like the GPS was thinking the same as us “oh fuck what do I do” , it took forever to recalculate. Lucky it did just in time for our next exit.

Hooray! We are now on the highway on route to Vegas. Our trip originally included a stop at Barstow for something to eat and a bathroom break and a stop at Primms to check out the Outlet mall. We didn’t get to Barstow , we just stopped at the first place we could find to stop. McDonald’s. Because I was just so tired from the flight I just got a water and a coffee. One thing I forgot about when ordering is when you order a medium in US it’s actually a large in Australian. First time I order a medium coffee (I usually get large) and I get a large sized. I do wonder how big the large is ( big gulp sized). Pit stop done and now back on the road….first we have to do a near fatal mistake of accidentally driving on the wrong side of the road and nearly get hit head on! Knew it would happen at least once.

The trip ran fairly smoothly after that. When we finally reached Primm I was beyond happy , not just the fact my bladder was so full I felt like I was going to burst (I did contemplate peeing in the desert) but we could go shopping and we weren’t far of our destination. I had high hopes for this mall because I had been shopping at both the North and South outlet malls in Vegas the last few times and always came back with heaps. This one however, was a bit less impressive. Many of the stores were shut down and empty, which was disappointing. But I did stop at the one store I knew I’d get something, the NIKE STORE. Well we got loads, for a good price too! Between us we got 4 NIKE sneakers and it cost us the equivalent of buying One pair. Yes ONE PAIR at home in Australia. Fuck even our outlet malls don’t sell them that cheap.

So as soon as we left Primm it was a short trip to Vegas. Yess not long now. We made it to our hotel Treasure Island (say what you want it’s a classic and is still a great hotel). We figure our way through the car park, finally find a spot…..then notice the sign saying we had to make sure we filled the fuel tank before returning the keys. FUCK! We forgot to refill the petrol tank. A quick reference to the GPS sent us to the nearest petrol station. Hooray. A quick fill up of the petrol and we were able to drop the car off at the car rental place (which was located in our hotel) and we were able to check in. One last check and I said goodbye to such a beautiful car, knowing I would never in my lifetime drive in anything like that I looked at it thinking “I should have had sex in the luxury car” .

Overall if your thinking of maybe doing a little toad trip from LA to Vegas I would really recommend it. It’s a very lazy drive your basically on a highway the whole trip, but the trip is great with checking out the landscapes and the stops you can make on the way (if you want to make stops). Just make sure if you plan on going on this adventure you have these essentials;

Reliable Car This should be an obvious thing guys, you don’t want to fuck up your trip with a broken down car

A GPS Don’t want to get lost!

A good travel buddy This is a must you don’t want to be on a road trip with a miserable person or an unreliable person or worse (there are just so many people that could ruin a trip) go with a person who you would actually have fun with

Planned Stops Do a bit of research before you go. You could get an idea if there is any places you want to see and if there is any places to get petrol and food and a toilet

Water and Snacks Water guys NOT SOFT DRINK, save it for when you get to Vegas. Be hydrated please, especially if you have been on a long flight you will need to get nice and hydrated before you fill yourself with booze and junk food. Snacks for the car don’t go crazy the last thing you want is to get to Vegas ready to party and you feel sluggish and bloated from all the shit you’ve eaten in the car. Stick to one snack, yes ONE! Remember you can stop on your trip to get an actual meal (even if it’s fast food meals) the snack is to just keep you from stuffing yourself rotten when you finally buy food and you binge to the point of vomiting.

Anyhoo kids I have to go workout now. I partied too hard and got fat. I know what the fuck! I go out looking like I could pass as healthy then wake up a contestant on the biggest loser. You get punished for having fun.

IM OUT!