Why I can’t Do Haunted Houses…..

Since I was very young I loved the idea of Halloween and being all creepy for one night. Because here in Australia it not really been celebrated until the last few years were a lot of stores have been trying to make it more of a holiday for us to celebrate. One of the things that has become very popular over here for halloween is having haunted houses for people to walk through and basically have the crap scared out of them. Im going to tell you why you will never see me in a haunted house, EVER!

When I was younger I had a period where I would love things like ghost trains where things would pop out and scare the shit out of you – I couldn’t get enough. It was a short period between me crying in fear and flat out refusing to get on one. I just don’t like having things jump out at me I know that these houses are just people in costume and they won’t physically harm you ( unless you go to the one where its basically a torture factory- seriously theres a haunted house that you have a safe word) but theres no guarantee that they won’t touch you. Ive watched too much Criminal Minds and Bones which makes me wonder if a psycho is under the mask that will murder me.

When things scare me now and I mean genuinely scare me for some reason I get into survival mode and get somewhat violent. Let me try to explain if something jumps out at me I get into the zone of trying to fight it off out of fear instead of just standing in one spot screaming…..let me tell you a tale:

One night we went to Dracula’s, its a cabaret restaurant (well it was until it closed down last year) we went there for dinner for my birthday. Its not a scary restaurant its a little cheesy but I liked the theme (Im a sucker for themed restaurants). So we walked in and hung out at the bar before being moved to the restaurant section. When it was getting close to the begin gin of the show the staff informed us that we will be going on the ghost train to the restaurant. FUCK! So my husband and I jumped into the two person cart they had for us and as the cart was driving through the dark something had touched my shoulder. Scared the shit out of me and I was on edge from then on all of a sudden the cart had slowed down and a person in costume appeared out of no where and unintentionally I wound up to punch her in the face. Turned out it was the hostess getting ready to take us to our table…….lucky I stopped myself. Fucking psycho! 

Before anyone wonders if my kid jumped out to scare me I’d hurt her in any way, put that to rest with small things I tend to jump and swear- thats it. So if a Chucky doll attacks I’m fucked. My kid scares me all the time she like to creep so Ive gotten a bit more used to smaller people jumping out at me. Its are the larger ones that get me and cause me to try defend myself even though they aren’t really attacking me in the first place. So this is why I will NOT be going into any Haunted houses any time soon, this year we are either taking the little one to a Halloween Festival so she can dress up and do some Trick or Treating OR were going to a suburb that has a number of houses that do Trick or Treating. Either way we will end up with sugary goodness.

IM OUT!

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