Post Pregnancy Body

So spawn number 2 is well and truely out of me (thank fuck!!!). I would like to say I loved being pregnant and it was a pleasant experience and all. But it wasn’t I didn’t enjoy it AT ALL!! Now before people come at me for admitting that I want to state that I love my kids (even when they act like satins minions) and having them in the world is great. Its the pregnancy part that sucks balls. So anyway I got that off my chest, I wanted to share my bodies transformation over the first few weeks of her being in this world. NOW……this is me being 100% honest with you. Im not trying to show myself shrinking back to pre-baby and trying to promote drastic weight loss. Im also not trying to act like despite my body developing so many flaws that I should be happy with it because I birthed a child – don’t get me wrong ladies if you have become one with your flaws good job. This is just showing how much my body can change over a few weeks after birth and how I recovered at the time. Kind of my little diary.


So this point I was fed up, uncomfortable and every time I looked at my husband I wanted to kick him square in the balls. Now with my pregnancy I was consistently exercising because I’m a hyperactive lunatic that can’t sit still. I did get a bit miserable when my due date came and went and I honestly get like I was being punished for being somewhat healthy throughout my pregnancy so I did a little emotional eating in the lead up to my induction. So I was eating a heap of crap foods and snacked a lot which would cause me to end up feeling like shit or as I call it, food hungover. I did also eat a bit of crap over the last two-ish weeks because I was in and out of the hospital with appointments and a lot of false alarms so I would be in there for hours and by the time I got out I was just starving and didn’t give two fucks.

So when I finally found out when I was being induced it kind of gave something positive and not like it was never ending. So I found out on the Tuesday afternoon I was going to be induced Friday morning so after stuffing my face with junk- I was starving after being in the hospital for hours. I decided that on the Wednesday and Thursday I would be a healthy ass bitch in order to make sure I won’t feel sick/ sluggish on the day of my induction. I wanted to have as much energy as possible and if I could avoid having to get a caesarean I was going to be a healthy bitch.

Little did I know that after many hours and 8cm I DID end up having to get a caesarean on the Friday night. Honestly I cried the second they said the words, I was in pain and terrified. I had been pregnant for 41 weeks and 4 days and gone through labor (yes I know people have labor for longer but I was over it). It upset me mainly because the little ones heart rate was becoming erratic and going really low then going up then going down again. I was terrified what would happen to her. it wasn’t until afterwards when I knew she was ok and cut out of me that while I was on the table having all of my organs being shoved back into place that it occurred to me, “fuck what kind of recovery will I have now”. I had mentally planned for the natural delivery and the recovery- gone over my first delivery in my head only to have this sprung on me. It was a very emotional Friday.

Side note ladies if you are wondering about epidurals, GET THAT SHIT! I did the natural birth first time around with no drugs and holy shit! By the end of my labor I did get the epidural it was a bit of a struggle to get it because I couldn’t sit still because of the contractions, but once I got it it felt a lot more comfortable well until things started to go pear shaped. I didn’t get you know fully numb like I thought I would, I still could feel my feet.


With the first spawn I remember having swollen legs and feet the day after shooting her out, but really for a lot of the pregnancy I was a swollen fluidy individual. With this pregnancy I was only slightly swollen on my legs during the last week or so. But the day after number 2 was delivered, HOLY SHIT! I was SWOLLEN! I was full of fluid I looked like I had gained 15kg overnight all over. In the days following it felt like it got worse in my feet and legs to the point I swear I could feel the fluid rolling around in the top of my foot while walking. I felt like a walking waterbed. So in the hospital along with all the pain and discomfort from a caesarean I also looked like the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man that was constantly flopping a boob out.

So this photo was taken the day after I was discharged from the hospital. Still very swollen my face had gone down just slightly. The rest of me was very much swollen! My stomach obviously had gone down a bit (you know because I no longer have a tenant living in there) but it really wasn’t anything dramatic. It was a mixture of unsettlingly squishy with hard balls in spots (due to trapped wind). This point I still was worried to stand up straight for too long with the fear that if I stood up straight I’d pop stitches and my guts will drop out like a scene from American Horror Story. My boobs had become the biggest I’ve ever seen I got a little preview of what I’d be dealing with if I ever decided to get my boobs done. Normally I am very pale skinned (cheers to my Scottish grandma for the pale skin) but for days after my skin was WHITE I looked like I was sick.

With my recovery I was in a lot of pain, they only gave me enough hardcore pain drugs for a few days to get through the pain then I would have to use over the counter pain relief. It was a struggle finding a comfortable position with feeding and well existing. I thought I was uncomfortable getting out of bed pregnant, I was an idiot getting in and out of bed after a caesarian oh shit that was not fun. I was extremely paranoid about doing any damage now I was at home and didn’t have the comfort of a midwife just a button buzz away but thankfully I managed to get a lot of rest and my husband set up the bedroom to be as comfortable as possible for me – that included me stealing all the extra pillows.


Everything is slowly going down, my stomach is still looking like and early bump. But at this point my fluid legs and feet have almost completely gone down and returned to normal. I did have a belly band to keep my stomach in place but I tried to wear it only for an hour here and there because after a while it would feel uncomfortable on my c-section wound. So this point Im just hoping that my stomach doesn’t sag (like so many women kept telling me it would-apparently I lucked out with my first spawn) and that everything is going to go back to where it belongs.

I did feel like this time my stomach has taken longer to go back down, Im assuming this is because I did have a big child in me this time or the fact this is my second or even I might have just forgotten how long it took the first time. I am enjoying my skin being really clear right now Ive had one or two zits appear only for them to disappear really fast without having to do anything really drastic. I admit thought my skin is extremely dry my face and only knuckles (weird). Yep still rocking the granny panties with the monster pad gross.

I was feeling super exhausted and still a little bit sore so I was still enjoying a few pain relief drugs. Unfortunately for me I was only given a small amount of the good pain killers and had to rely on the over the counter ones. During my pregnancy I had developed varicose veins and some spider veins on my right leg so it looked pretty mutilated (isn’t pregnancy beautiful) a lot of the veins had gone down. The spider veins were still slowly disappearing so my leg wasn’t looking discoloured and bruised.


My god I still look like I’m rocking an early bump! Not rocking the giant maternity pads so I’m feeling somewhat normal-ish. As you can see Im having to wear the sexy sexy boob pads, experiencing a bit of leakage. I was starting to get night sweats at this point, waking up drenched in sweat all over. Which was especially strange since its the middle of winter and cold as fuck at night because we don’t have the heater running. Obviously the photo is a bit closer because when taking my photo I forgot to put pants on and it wasn’t until putting this post together I realised to took a photo of me in my underwear.

I wasn’t having any pains at all apart from if I worked myself a bit too hard with housework or when I decided to change around spawn 1’s room one day but other than that I was feeling pretty good. Something did occur to me at this point, down there maintenance. The day I went in to have the spawn I well how do I say this mowed the lawns. But afterward I’ve let things go full 70’s bush because I was too tired and in pain to care about hair but here I started to notice hair really close to my scar that Id be still to petrified to maintain. So I left what I could only describe as a little moustache above my lady bits. The scar is a bit puffy above it but its still only two weeks since I had this done so once I have my 6 weeks check up I should know what the go is.

Yeah sorry about the mirror, I took this photo on my husbands side of the vanity (we have separate mirrors on our vanities. Im not touching the fresh toothpaste his spat pretty much on the mirror, I have enough gross shit to clean.


Good god woman! I forgot to put pants on this week as well and the bloody mirror is dirty again. Anyhow this week me and the spawn had our 6 week checkup and she had her vaccinations as well. This was the first time seeing a doctor in person since my visit from the midwife shortly after arriving home from the hospital. Since Melbourne was thrown back into lockdown our appointment was mostly on the phone while I was in the carpark followed by me running into the surgery rocking the facemark with the baby wrapped up. My appointment was awkward with the doctor rocking head to toe protection I felt like I was in ET when the government came. Everything is healing up well and no issues with the babies growth.

Her vaccinations were stressful for me because its torture seeing your baby in pain but we gotta do what we gotta do to protect the spawns. I still had the pregnancy line but it is fading more and more and my stomach is feeling less flabby. The flabby belly just felt un-natural to me the first few weeks it was weird to touch but its starting to feel like a softish curvy belly. For some reason with this pregnancy I gained a lot of my weight in my ass and thighs rather than other places but lucky for me the big butt and thighs are in at the moment.

I still was rocking the vagina moustache at my doctors appointment so that must have been interesting for the doctor to be greeted with. I still had a little puff above my scar but it wasn’t as huge as it was when I first came out of the hospital. My doctor said it does go down as my body slowly goes back to normal.


I finally worked up the courage to ease back into my pole fitness and moving away from just walking on the treadmill. This is was a bit terrifying to do because I was scared Id have fucked up my recovery and cause further time off due to damage I had done. Also what worried me was the lack of strength I had and what would I be able to do. It was all really stressful. But I did survive and wasn’t as weak as I thought. Im not at the level of strength and fitness I was at but Im not completely a lost cause. Going back into fitness felt great since we are stuck at home I needed a bit of an outlet and something to do by myself that didn’t include Netflix. Looking at my scar its becoming less and less something that catches my eye and Ive now felt confident wearing somewhat normal underwear. Meaning Ive moved on from the granny panties that practically covered my whole torso to the briefs I wear when working out or have that time of the month. Progress.

I have been making sure that my abdominal muscles have gone back to normal after carrying my 9 pounder child and lucky for me I didn’t have any terrible damage. They have gone back to normal (thank god). One of the things I do find strange is my stomach is a completely different shape. Well derr it is I had a kid. But I always had a bit of a cookie much at the bottom of my stomach before this spawn and now it gone. I don’t know but it does look different and I do have bit of cushion on me – especially in the bottom half. I am eating a bit healthier now and since I can exercise I can throw it in when I can. One thing that never happened to me the first time I had a kid was I didn’t experience postpartum hair loss. This time I started to lose a bit around my forehead, which I only noticed in a photo of me with all of my hair pulled back (FUCK). So its going to be fringe down for a while until the hair grows back a bit.

With this whole experience I has been a lot more mentally draining with the whole pandemic, not having friends and family come to visit or even come over to help me. As well as the whole caesarean recovery not being apart of my plan. Obviously physically it has taken me a bit longer to get back into things than I had planned but this shit takes time.

So here is where I’m at now Im now a few weeks later roughly 11 weeks PP. I want to emphasise to women who have read this post that everyone’s body recovers differently after pregnancy and childbirth. I wanted to share a real recovery of my experience because I do feel that a lot of people are posting unrealistic expectations online of their after baby body. As if you bounce back instantly after baby and not experience any discomfort at all.

IM OUT!!!!


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